New York … I Love You

New York_264

This is harder than I thought.

Why is this harder than I thought?

I didn’t see all the people I wanted to see. I should have planned better. But I didn’t. Seven days flew by in a flash. And now I’m back at the airport. At a different airport. Heading home … already.

I’m not only leaving a city I love, but too many people – from the glamour girls caught up in their 9-to-9’s and the handsome Jimmy’s-Johnny’s-and-Joe’s to the French oysters and their pearls.

While I wait for my bacon, egg & cheese on a roll and “regular” coffee (w/lots of milk & sugar) at the bodega around the corner, I chat with the Mexican worker who’s in Brooklyn on a job to build a pool,

about how there were 10 inches of snow upstate where he lives … but nothing in Manhattan,

and how he’d hate to live in the city because it’s too stressful,

and how he’s been to Baton Rouge and Shreveport.

Then the Asian guy at the counter says, wrapping my sandwich in an indispensable black plastic bag,

“ok, here you go my sweetie.”

And I say goodbye and happy holidays as I head to the subway, the one with the kiosks so I can purchase my single day pass, while my coffee promptly bounces out and over onto my puffy black duvet-esque coat.

I love how a man gets up, out of his seat, to let me and my giant backpack, Mom’s giant backpack actually, squeeze in for four more stops.

Gachunk … Gachunk … Gachunk … Gachunk …

I love the sound of the subway. “Stand clear for the closing doors.”

A switch to the 6, and a few stops later, I’m at Grand Central. Schlepping my bags four-and-a-half blocks northeast, I can finally drop them to the floor, say my hellos and goodbyes, trek back to Grand Central for a last-minute look, head back, pick up the bags, kiss my love goodbye and mount the shuttle to LaGuardia.

I left my heart in NYC. I left him on E. 45th Street at approximately 1:45pm, and now I’m in a busy airport fighting to keep the tears from gushing. Anticipating the weirdness, the normalcy, that looms back “home.”

From the few loved ones that I did meet up with on my journey, transition was in the air. Is this everywhere? This almost fearful anticipation of the unknown? What’s happening in life? Are we going in the right direction? It’s all going by so quickly. But with this sense of near desperation and being pushed into the future, comes an “It’s all gonna be ok” reassurance. That hopefulness New Yorkers know so well, or oblivion, or continuation of life. No time to waste “thinking” about it all. No quiet time to hear one’s own head noise. Maybe that’s a good thing.

There’s no traffic. It’s 10pm and there’s no traffic. Where am I? In what twilight zone did I just arrive? “A time warp. I love it, the culture, the architecture, it’s beautiful. But it’s a time warp.” That’s what my New York neighbor lady on Xanax said to me as we were leaving New Orleans seven days ago. She was right. I’ve landed, but I don’t know where.

A two-hour drive later and I’m at the house. Again, too quiet. A good night’s sleep? Space of my own? This is just weird. But soon will come the responsibilities. The mowing. The chopping. The scanning. The lack of distractors. What is this crazy path I’m on? Am I still sleeping? Did someone slip something in my drink? Will someone please tell me what really happened? … Goodbye city life …

Chaos …

New York_1 New York_172 New York_167 New York_166 New York_165 New York_164 New York_162 New York_159 New York_156 New York_154 New York_153 New York_152 New York_151 New York_150 New York_149 New York_148 New York_147 New York_146 New York_145 New York_143 New York_140 New York_139 New York_137 New York_136 New York_135 New York_134 New York_133 New York_132 New York_131 New York_130 New York_129 New York_128 New York_126 New York_125 New York_122 New York_120 New York_114 New York_109 New York_107 New York_106 New York_105 New York_104 New York_103 New York_98 New York_92 New York_89 New York_79 New York_67 New York_66 New York_65 New York_63 New York_62 New York_61 New York_51 New York_50 New York_47 New York_44 New York_42 New York_35 New York_34 New York_33 New York_31 New York_30 New York_27 New York_24 New York_23 New York_22 New York_21 New York_15 New York_13 New York_12 New York_11 New York_9 New York_8 New York_7 New York_4 New York_3 New York_176 New York_287 New York_285 New York_284 New York_283 New York_282 New York_280 New York_278 New York_276 New York_274 New York_271 New York_268 New York_267  New York_263 New York_261 New York_259 New York_258 New York_257 New York_256 New York_255 New York_254 New York_252 New York_251 New York_249 New York_248 New York_247 New York_245 New York_244 New York_243 New York_242 New York_241 New York_238 New York_237 New York_236 New York_235 New York_234 New York_233 New York_227 New York_226 New York_225 New York_222 New York_215 New York_213 New York_208 New York_206 New York_205 New York_204 New York_203 New York_202 New York_201 New York_199 New York_197 New York_196 New York_193 New York_189 New York_187 New York_185 New York_184 New York_180 New York_179 New York_177

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: